Sexuality of women: Is lust only a matter of men, why women are discouraged?

 Sexuality of women: Is lust only a matter of men, why women are discouraged?

 Shahnaz Parveen

 Women's sexuality is discouraged.

 Women's sexuality, her sexual desire, is a taboo subject in many countries of the world including Bangladesh.  It is very difficult to talk in this context.  Women do not have sexual desire - that is what women are taught socially.

 The female body, sexuality is not for her own sake, but is a matter of male enjoyment, part of the process of procreation.  The woman herself started thinking like this at some point.

 That's not to say

 Sex, lust - how many women can talk about these things very openly?

 When I tried to speak to find out, I didn't hear from the beginning.

 Many refused to speak directly about the subject, some were shocked to hear the content, while others turned away in shame.

 "I enjoy sex, I enjoy sex very much," he said.

 "I've said the line a couple of times. At first everyone thought I was joking. Then when I realized that I wasn't really serious, I heard that they had labeled my character bad.  He said.

 It is very difficult to talk about women's sexuality.

 This woman works in a development organization.  Age 45 years.  He has presented himself as very active in sex life.

 Describing what he had learned about sex since childhood, he said, "When I was a teenager, I got a little idea of ​​this kind of school home economics book.

 But at that time I or my girlfriends used to talk about love but there was no talk about sex.  And then I did not understand this feeling of the body.  I used to think that it was a sin to talk about it.

 Questions about the character of a woman interested in sex

 Women's sexuality, her sexual desire, is a taboo subject in many countries of the world including Bangladesh.

 In many cultures of the world, for the most part, women do not participate in sex alongside men but are themselves objects of sex.

 Jobaida Nasrin, an anthropology teacher at Dhaka University, has conducted two studies entitled 'Unpacking Sexuality' or 'Uncovering the Sex Package' and 'History of Sex'.

 She says her research shows what society thinks about women's sexuality.

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 If she is interested in sex, she is a bad woman in the eyes of society.

 "We have a taboo about women's sexuality here - women will be sexually passive, women's body cover. Our research experience shows that if a woman in our country knows about sex, she has fantasies about it, even if she talks to her partner."  By then, it is suspected that he must have had sexual experience.

 Her sexual orientation is not well received by society.  The woman who expresses her sexuality is a bad woman in the eyes of society, "she said.

 The experience of talking to men about the same thing is different:

 In a threatening tone, some people said that it could not be anything to talk about.  Someone laughed, and even sexually suggestive slander came out of each other's mouths.

 Zahirul Islam works in a bank in Patuakhali.  The idea of ​​women's sexuality seemed vague to him.

 He says he will avoid women who express sexual desire.

 "I don't see them well. Because our society takes them negatively. I will avoid them. I will keep my distance from them. Suppose I have an honor. That doesn't exist."

 He avoided the question of how he viewed his wife's sexuality.

 

 Women's sexual desire is a neglected issue.

 Women's sexuality is suppressed?

 Jobaida Nasrin says her research shows that from an early age, women learn to fear sex, not to enjoy it.

 Women learn from the family that they do not have to talk about their sexual desires.  The reason is that this feeling is not for him.

 In the words of Jobaida Nasrin: Suppressing women's sexuality in society is a process of trying to control it.

 "Men will treat sex as it is, enjoy all kinds of sexual-centered freedoms, express all kinds of intentions, including controlling the female body. As much as a woman has an idea of ​​physical sexual pleasure and pain, everything will depend on the man.

 "Women's body-centered pleasure, the decision to have sexual intercourse is a man's decision, a man's interest, a man's pleasure. In this way, control of a woman's body goes into the hands of a man.  He has to be the victim of domination. "

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 Women's preferences regarding sexual needs are not taken into account.

 A woman's sexuality is not for herself

 In most societies, a woman's sexuality is not for her own sake, but for the enjoyment of men.
 Reading about the history of sex, its mention in various literary works, the advent of sex villages and pornography - in all these cases, the sexual desire of women is a neglected subject, sexual happiness seems to be only for men.
 Even in a marital relationship, the tendency to ignore women's consent in sexual intercourse is often heard.
 The United Nations considers marital rape to be a horrific form of domestic violence.
 Again, women's preferences regarding sexual needs are not taken into account.  One person who did not want to be named was talking about his regular experience in 18 years of married life.
 "It is often seen that I have not reached the climax. But my husband is gone. He is not in any way. He gets up or goes to sleep. I can't say anything about it.  What to say - I'm scared. He doesn't want me to do it again. He doesn't try to do what I want him to do. "

 There is a tendency in marital relations to ignore the consent of women in sexual intercourse.
 From the hesitation to talk about such things, the concept of sexuality of women in the society becomes very clear.
 Psychiatrist Mekhla Sarkar says that at one stage, women themselves lose interest in sex.  After becoming a mother, especially after the child grows up.
 Dr.  Mekhla Sarkar says that women go to the doctor only on the interest of men, not on their own interest.
 Talking about women's concerns about sex, she said, "Many women have an anxiety about it so they can't enjoy it.
 "In the case of women, if there is no involvement, not only physically, but also emotionally, or if she feels that she is not giving me priority, but only giving importance to her at that time, then she will not enjoy that either."


 The younger generation has started to change.
 The concept of woman's body and impurity
 In Bangladeshi society, women and girls are sexually harassed and abused at some point in their lives.  That is often the reason for the discouragement of women's sexuality, said Dr.  Mekhla government.

 And because of this, sex is a scary thing for women.  However, he said that the culture of branding a woman's body as unclean is a way to discourage women from having sex.
 "I would say that if he has low self-confidence, he doesn't have appreciation for his own body, if he thinks the body is too bad, dirty, it creates a negative attitude.  It doesn't feel good anymore. It can also be a factor. "
 But there are also different statements from the younger generation, who want to know about their feelings, wants from their partner.  Because the idea that sex is not his only subject is growing.